“Be the best version of you!”
We hear this saying often esp. around new years, but what does it look like in action?
I’m sure there are many ways to accomplish this, but the following five lessons I learned have made a lasting impact on me:
1) Cultivate your passion – Most of us are taught that we are born with this inherent passion that we must find and pursue. If you ask me, that is a huge burden to carry, to find some passion hidden deep inside me and continuously wonder if I am following the “right” passion. Let’s replace that with “explore our talents”. I tell my two teenage boys to continuously explore their talents. As we explore, we will find one that aligns with our skills, needs, values and enthusiasm. Upon finding it, we have to actively cultivate our passion. In other words, instead of passively using our talent to do a job, we actively learn and use it to create in this world.
2) Shine the light on others – Henry Drummond stated, “Happiness consists in giving and in serving others.” Many older people say that their happiest moments came when they were actively engaged in helping others. My experiences prove this to be true. If you look back at your happy moments, you may also share the same sentiments. Using our skills with an intention of serving others not only helps others evolve, it also transforms us. It helps us to transform from an “I” centered life to a “We” centered life which has been proclaimed by many philosophers and religions to be the key to having a happy mind. To live daily with a mind of serving others takes practice and constant effort, but if happiness is found in serving others, it’s worth the effort.
3) Be authentic – We have definitely heard this advice before. There is nothing more powerful and fulfilling than you living in this world as you! It is great to have role models, but it is a waste of time trying to imitate them. When we imitate someone else or a trend that does not align with us, it is never a fulfilling experience for us or the ones on the receiving end. To be authentic, we must first have an inquiring mind. We have to question everything to find the truth of who we are. Finding out who we are requires letting go of the image we have created for ourselves in our minds. Once we let go of that image, we start being authentic in this world.
4) Embrace failure – Why do we have fear of failure? If you are like me, you like certainty. However, my experiences have finally taught me that the only certainty in life is change. Embracing change helped me overcome this fear. Another reason we fear failure is to protect the false image we have created in our minds of ourselves. When we let go of that image, we begin to feel a sense of freedom in experimenting. In science, the trial and error method is used to solve problems and it takes several failed attempts to find the correct solution. Thomas Edison has famously said “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” We cannot succeed unless we understand what doesn’t work.
5) Observe the internal dialogue – This is the most important lesson I have learned in my life. There is a saying “Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.” Our thoughts have the capability to either limit ourselves or become the highest version of ourselves in this world. We have to pay attention to the self-talk which can be positive or negative. The only way to observe negative self-talk is to sit in silent meditation. Meditation helps us to observe the thought patterns in our minds. Once we listen and understand our thought patterns, we can develop and practice positive self-talk.
As I continue to apply these life lessons, I have also learned that accepting and embracing who we are in this moment is the best way to enjoy this journey of evolving into the best version of ourselves!
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