Meditation Archives - Third Eye Fitness

Love is like a cup of chai..

Simi Pothen — Sun, 27 Oct 2019 16:58:44 +0000

The first time the word ‘love’ mentioned in the Bible is not about romantic love, but parental love (Genesis 22).

For most of us, our first teacher on the topic of love is our parents. Their views, opinions, and ideas of love, becomes ours as a child.

As we get older, we meet many more teachers along the way who teach us directly and indirectly about love. As a result, most of us unconsciously create a version and feeling of love without ever really contemplating the true sense of the word ‘love’.

If you have read or heard about the five love languages, you know you could be the most affectionate person on this planet, but it means not much to the person whose love language is ‘acts of service’. If someone doesn’t feel loved, the reciprocation of love is unlikely unless they are an enlightened being like Jesus or Buddha. And if we don’t feel loved, we will stop expressing love because unconsciously ‘loving to be loved’ was always our end game.

Some of us spend our entire lives craving this feeling from a parent, partner, sibling, friend or even a child; to hold on to the feeling all the time because, in that feeling, we feel validated, purposeful, significant.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians”

In the above biblical verse, notice that there is no reference to feeling love; the type of feeling most of us are accustomed to desiring and craving. What I take away from reading the above verse is that love is made up of virtues. Without certain virtues, love does not exist.

Love is like a cup of Chai!

Imagine a cup of chai. Chai does not exist independently of the tea bag, milk, water, sugar and heat. When the appropriate amount of these ingredients come together under the right heating conditions we have that delicious Chai.

Love is no different; love cannot exist independently of virtues.

If we genuinely wish to understand love, we should learn to Be Love.

We should stop focusing on feeling love or loved, and instead focus on cultivating the ingredients of love. As stated in 1 Corinthians, we focus on cultivating the virtues of Patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, truthfulness, trust, perseverance along with many others such as mindfulness, contentment, equanimity, gratitude and wisdom.

Cultivating these virtues takes effort and time, but as we learn to cultivate these virtues, our old version of love will begin to disintegrate, and the true essence of love awakens within us.

If you are someone who thinks I already have all these virtues within me and I don’t have to work on it, maybe you are right. But then I assume your days are filled with inner peace and contentment with no issues with your spouse, kids, parents, friends, colleagues or your own self. If that is not the case, then many of us are on the same boat. We could all benefit from making a commitment to cultivating these virtues where we begin to apply it daily in every situation.

How do we cultivate these virtues?

One of the many reasons I am drawn to Buddhist teachings has to do with its methodical approach to cultivating virtues. The teachings propose meditation as a method for acquainting our minds with virtues.

The two meditation practices that go together that can help us develop virtues are known as analytical meditation and placement meditation.

The practice begins with reading or listening to an instruction on a specific virtue we wish to develop. Sitting in silence, we then begin to contemplate the meaning of this instruction. This contemplation is analytical meditation.

By deeply contemplating the instruction, eventually, we reach a conclusion or cause a specific virtuous state of mind to arise. This conclusion or the virtuous state of mind then becomes the object of placement meditation.

Having found our object through analytical meditation, we then concentrate on that object single-pointedly for as long as possible to become deeply acquainted with it. This single-pointed concentration is placement meditation.

Often, analytical meditation is called simply ‘contemplation’, and placement meditation simply ‘meditation’.

How to meditate?

Find a quiet space in your house and sit in a comfortable position with your back straight. Then find a reading that focuses on a virtue you wish to cultivate.

*For example, if we are meditating on compassion, we begin by contemplating the various sufferings experienced by all living beings until a strong feeling of compassion arises in our hearts. When this feeling arises, we meditate on it single-pointedly. If the feeling fades, or if our mind wanders to another object, we should return to analytical meditation to bring the feeling back to mind. When the feeling of compassion has been restored, we once again leave our analytical meditation and hold the feeling with single-pointed concentration.

Or if we are trying to develop trust, read a verse in the scripture that helps develop that virtue. Example: **“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.”

Contemplate this verse until a strong feeling of trust arises in our hearts. When this feeling arises, we meditate on it single-pointedly. If the feeling fades, or if our mind wanders to another object, we should return to analytical meditation (by reading the scripture again if needed) to bring the feeling of trust back to mind. When the feeling of trust has been restored, we once again leave our analytical meditation and hold the feeling with single-pointed concentration.

You can see how we can take this meditative approach to cultivate virtues regardless of our faith.

The way we end a meditation session is also important. Close the session with gratitude and dedication; gratitude for this precious human life that has the capability to develop virtues and dedication to remind us that the fruits of the meditation are not intended primarily for us, but to be of benefit to others.

On this journey of cultivating virtues, perhaps our need to feel love or be loved becomes irrelevant. Instead, we awaken to the true nature of all things in this world from a place of compassionate understanding.

* Geshe Kelsang Gyatso ** Jeremiah 17

Love & Light,

Simi

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Healing a Broken Heart With Self-Love

Simi Pothen — Thu, 11 Oct 2018 11:57:07 +0000

All love stories come to an end whether we consciously choose it or not.

The best case scenario that most of us wish for when we choose our partner is for the love to last a lifetime until one passes away.

But life doesn’t always play out the best case scenarios for us, does it? If it were the case, there would be no need for How-To articles or self-help books.

“Everything has to come to an end, sometime.” ― L. Frank Baum, The Marvelous Land of Oz

Many of us find ourselves in love stories that abruptly ends.

I have often heard that it is easier to cope with the death of a partner than it is to cope with the anger, or worse, the indifferent attitude we receive from our ex after a separation or a divorce.

I suppose there are moments we all experience in this life where death seems a little less tragic; all arising from our delusional thoughts or ‘maya‘ as known in the yogic world.

No one enters a relationship wanting it to end, yet it happens. It happens to almost all of us at some point in our lives.

When I found myself with a broken heart, I didn’t know how or where to begin the healing process. My attachment to the identity of a wife and a mother were so strong that I didn’t know who I was if I lost it.

I searched everywhere for quick fixes, but those of you who have experienced a heartbreak knows that only time can heal. Just as a physical wound takes time to heal, so does an emotional wound.

The time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty. – Dalai Lama

The upside of the challenges we face in life is that these are moments where we have a choice to increase our inner strength. It can be an opportunity to change our perception of reality, to one which liberates us from the shackles of unnecessary suffering.

Looking back at my journey, I realize now that I had come up with my own unique way of healing my heart. I was determined to grow through this experience by wanting to understand my suffering- the nature and the root cause of it. This growth mindset that I decided to embrace from that single albeit painful experience is what continues to give me the courage to do many things that I once considered impossible. The choices I made truly were Self-Love in action, although I did not realize it at the time.

Some of the methods I used were recommendations from many books I devoured around that time, and a few others I came up on my own as I was navigating through the different challenges that I felt were unique to who I was in that moment.

1) Seek out and find others who are also mending a broken heart.

You have heard the saying “misery loves company”. So does healing!
Coming together with a circle of people who are also going through similar experiences and do not expect you to “just move on” can do wonders to our bleeding heart.

The key here is, however, to not gravitate towards those who are just looking to constantly complain about their ex with no desire to grow from the experience. So be mindful of whom you bring in to your circle.

2) Take on a new hobby

I know you have heard this technique before, and so did I when I was going through my heartbreak. So, I did just that- I took up martial arts. I began my training in Kungfu which I knew nothing about. I met one of my dearest friends in that Kungfu class.

Focusing on the joy of learning a new art and meeting people from the world of martial arts kept my mind less focused on my pain. This technique really works! So go out there and just immerse yourself in a new hobby. Who knows? You may even find and cultivate a new passion through this experience.

3) Talk to a counselor, life coach or mentor

We can always lean on family and friends at this time, but mental health professionals who have seen hundreds of these type of painful cases are better equipped to help us understand our emotions at this time. They are trained to give us the tools that are necessary to cope with our emotions.

My personal preference was to find a professional that also had some training in Mindfulness because I had already started the practice of mindfulness and was gaining much relief from the emotional roller coaster I was on at that time.

Try not to use the time you have with these professionals to dump your painful angry cyclical thoughts. Use your friends and family for this purpose. If there are no friends or family around, use journaling as a way to vent. Use the professionals to learn the tools to manage emotions and understand why we can’t seem to let go. This approach can save you a tremendous amount of time and money.

4) Create a spiritual practice

Go to church, temples, mosques or whatever your religious/spiritual preference is. If you are not into religion, try meditation or yoga to help you reconnect with that part of you that feels lost.

The spiritual practice that I chose to make a part of my daily life is what gave me an understanding of my inner world and the power I have over it. Even my purpose, that I believe transcends time, came alive in my heart because of my spiritual journey.

5) Read inspiring autobiographies of people who overcame challenges

When I was experiencing painful emotions, I noticed that certain author’s articles and quotes I read would sometimes ease the pain. I felt an instant connection with the messages. It felt as if they knew exactly what I was feeling which prompted me to find out more about what they may have gone through and how they overcame it.

These autobiographies made me realize I was not alone in my suffering. Reading their stories also allowed me to realize that discipline merged with compassion created our inner strength. And this formula is what allows us to ride the waves of life gracefully.

6) It is OK to keep a distance from ‘couple-friendships’ that you have made in the past

There is a saying, we attract who we are. When I was single, I was surrounded by single friends. Once I got married and moved to a new town, friendships I created all were ‘couple-friendships’.

When a relationship ends, it is also an end of those couple-friendships. It can be painful during the initial stage of our heartbreak to be around ‘couple-friends’ when the other half of our ‘couplehood’ no longer exists.

Be honest with your friends!

If you need space and time away from couple-friendships, it is perfectly ok. Those who love you for who you are will always be there when you are ready to receive them back into your life. At least this has been my experience.

7) Be real with your children.

This was probably the hardest of all my challenges through this experience.

Initially, I wanted to pretend with my kids that everything was normal, that I was happy just so that I wouldn’t worry them. Since they already had to deal with a broken home, I couldn’t bear the thought of them feeling even the slightest discomfort. I put on a “happy face” all the time which was extremely difficult because, in reality, I was far from a happy place.

As I had also incorporated my spiritual practice at this time (#4), it was in meditation that I realized allowing my children to see me in tears also meant that I was allowing myself to be seen as a human and not just as a mom.

I’m by no means suggesting that we cry hysterically in front of young children. What I am trying to convey is that being sad occasionally in front of our children opens the door to talk about human emotions and most importantly, the value of becoming aware of our emotions so that it eases the grip it has over our actions.

As adults, we are taught to have it all figured out all the time (or at least pretend like we do). But from my experience, a parent must feel lost at least once in order to genuinely connect with children- where we become one with their innocence, playfulness, curiosity, creativity and persistence.

From this experience, I learned to look at my children as my spiritual teachers. Among many valuable lessons I learned from them at the time, the one that I will carry with me for life is the importance of a ‘beginner’s mind’- which Shunryu Suzuki wrote about in which the number of possibilities is unlimited.

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These are just some of the techniques I used to heal myself and we all have our own unique ways to deal with heartbreaks. But I believe the most important element I brought with me on this healing journey was the desire to grow- the growth-oriented mindset.

As humans, we exist in the realm of joy and suffering. As part of a collection of poems, the great poet Gibran wrote:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

Although I have healed from the broken heart, it will be naive of me to think that I will never experience suffering again. But what I have come to realize is that suffering can be one of the greatest teachers in understanding how to lead a fearless fulfilling life. All we need is the determination to grow from those experiences.

Love and Light,

Simi

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Self-Love Practice of Ahimsa- Learn to love your body unconditionally with Yoga

Simi Pothen — Mon, 17 Sep 2018 21:43:05 +0000

Many of us pose a specific way for pictures, so we look a bit thinner, a little taller or only with make-up because we want everyone to always and only see what we believe to be the best self of us.

What if we were to pose just to exude joy, love and passion? No longer focusing on trying to hide the parts of ourselves we judge mercilessly or conceal our wrinkles with filters.

What if exuding self-love became our new trendy pose in pictures?

I am not suggesting that we show up everywhere in our pajamas and pose as if we just woke up. As a matter of fact, these days, I see dressing up and make-up almost as an art form- creating a character that my ego wants to display. So this article is not about banning or not enjoying any of these items. What I am proposing is a shift in our perspective to liberate ourselves from the habitual pattern and trappings of yearning for validation which limits us from living life at our highest potential.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
– Buddha

I have personally met those who are fit and beautiful according to the societal standards who struggle to appreciate what they look like. Ironically, I have also witnessed the opposite- those who are not necessarily labeled by society as ‘beautiful’ exhibiting deep appreciation towards their bodies and a great passion for their lives.

Loving our bodies has little to do with the shape or the size of the body, rather it is a growth-oriented mindset. It is a shift in our perspective.

Deep down, most of us know that we deserve unconditional love in this life no matter what we look like. Yet, many of us don’t feel this love on a daily basis. Our mind constantly focuses on what is wrong with our bodies, our faces and how it needs to be fixed. Imagine if you could free yourself from this self-judging mental chatter and live everyday fearlessly with passion and appreciation?

When we learn to love the bodies we are in:

It makes us capable of loving, connecting and relating with others at a basic level.
It enriches not only our world but also the world of others.
It gives us the ability to influence others in a meaningful, positive and uplifting way because that positivity exists within you.
We gain courage and lose the fear of taking necessary measures to fulfill our goals and our destiny.
We begin to trust ourselves and stop looking for answers, recognition, and happiness externally.

Learning to love your body in Yoga

Many postures in Yoga can make us feel vulnerable, however, it is in this vulnerable space we create a fearless life filled with unconditional love and passion.

Although yogasana is loosely translated as a Yoga Pose, posing is not the goal of Yoga (contrary to the filtered photoshopped photos we see these days). In a yogasana, what exists is the connection between the body and the mind.

There are several teachings in Yoga that can help us learn to appreciate and love our bodies.
One of my favorite practices in Yoga is Ahimsa (Non-Violence), which is one of the Yamas from the 8 Limbs of Yoga.

Learning to use the understanding of Ahimsa to love your body:

The practice of Ahimsa in Yoga begins with setting the intention of compassion and non-judgment.

Sitting in a comfortable position on your yoga mat with your eyes gently closed, set the intention of self-compassion and non-judgment. Once you have set this intention:

Get into a Yoga posture of your preference and comfort without exerting too much force (ex: child’s pose, lizard pose, low lunge, etc.).
Initially bring the attention to your breath. Notice the inhale and exhale. Notice the sensations in your nostrils.
Slowly bring the attention to your chest. Notice the rise and fall of your chest with each in-breath and out-breath.
Once you feel calm and centered, bring the attention to your mind. Notice the thoughts that creep up.
As you observe the mental chatter, notice which part of the body your mind is constantly judging. Bring attention to that part.
Pay close attention to that part of your body. Now in your mind, begin to focus on and note all the wonderful purposes of that body part. For ex: if it is your thighs, how many years have that part of the body helped you walk on this earth? How many times has it helped you hold your child in your lap? How many times have you judged it mercilessly, but it keeps giving back to you every day unconditionally?
Continue asking yourself these questions until compassion begins to arise in your heart. Once you begin to feel a deep compassion in your heart, bring that compassionate attention towards that part of your body.
Continue to hold this compassion in your heart towards that body part for the rest of the time in your yoga posture.
If thoughts of judgment towards the body part or other distracting thoughts begin to creep up, rather than choosing to follow them, simply allow them to rise and slowly fade away- similar to watching a cloud passing through a clear sky before it disappears. Then slowly bring your attention back to the compassion practice.
If you completely lose the feeling of compassion in your heart, then go back to step #5 and repeat steps 5 through 8.

Remember that this is not a skill that can be mastered with a one time practice. With consistent practice, compassion towards your body will come to you effortlessly in times of need and eventually become your state of being. You will no longer be controlled by the body-shaming mental chatter, thus leaving space in your mind to focus on more meaningful things in life.

We may initially feel awkward and find it difficult to hold compassion in our hearts for long periods of time in many of the poses due to a strong innate attachment to how we think a body should look like, but eventually, we begin to lose that attachment and become amazed by the body that is a part of you. Gradually we will start loving every part of us.

Liberation through the practice of Ahimsa

My daily Ahimsa practices have helped me tremendously to see through my illusions, push through my fears, and allow myself to be seen without the fear of being judged. I still have my moments of judgment, but it is quick to disappear and lacks the power it once possessed because of my consistent self-love practice of Ahimsa.

If the thought of being vulnerable, allowing yourself to be seen just as you are makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is worth contemplating on the ‘why’ and experimenting with this practice of Ahimsa.

This practice of Ahimsa towards our bodies in Yoga- which is the conscious consideration and loving of our bodies is one of the fundamental habits that should be cultivated daily to experience self-love and to tap into the limitless potential of this human life.

The next time we pose for the world, let’s focus more on exuding Self-Love with the practice of Ahimsa.

Love and Light,

Simi

Do you practice Self-Love in all areas of your life? Take the self-love quiz to find out!

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Self-Love Habit of ‘Surrendering to What Is’

Simi Pothen — Mon, 07 May 2018 16:28:42 +0000

When things don’t go our way- whether at home, work or with our health, it is natural to feel surprised and disappointed. We begin to focus on everything we could have done differently to change the outcome or have this desperate need for our reality to be different than what it is.

This past week, I got the sad news of my grandfather who lives in India passing away. Being an only child I wanted to be there by my dad’s side, but this was not possible because on the same week, I had surgery done. Although I was healing well, traveling across the world was not something I could do.

I felt an intense desire for things to be different, for it to go my way.

We all experience these moments in life where we crave for our reality to be different. These moments might come in the extreme form of a loved one’s death, a divorce, an illness or in the milder form of not getting that promotion, having enough money or being able to lose the weight.

We become consumed by the desire to change our reality- feeling sad or depressed wishing if only it would be different.

Surrender to what is.

This was my mantra this past week- practicing non-resistance to what was happening in each moment. This mantra is, by far, the greatest piece of wisdom I have gained from the past few years of meditation and is now an important part of my self-love practices.

Suffering in our perception of reality

As humans, we all have to encounter painful or unwanted events that are beyond our control. There is a basic level of suffering all of us will experience that arises from these events.

However, most of us have created a habit of unconsciously giving more energy to this basic level of suffering. This takes the basic level of suffering to a higher level where one feels paralyzed, hopeless or falls back to destructive habits. This self-inflicted suffering is what makes the experience of our daily human lives more unbearable than it really needs to be.

For ex: we are running late to work. We have two ways to deal with this.

1. We let our minds wander and think: “I should have woke up early”, “it’s my kid’s fault”, “my boss is going to think less of me”, etc., and start yelling at our kids, spouse and everyone in traffic in front of us.

2. We pause to see that we are feeling stressed, and choose to take a few deep breaths. We realize that we can make this morning we have been gifted with a terrible experience for ourselves and everyone around us just because of that one undesired outcome of being late. We recognize that we can no longer control being late for work but we still have the power to give ourselves and those around us a wonderful morning experience before everyone heads out to begin their day.

The first choice leaves us feeling shameful, resentful and helpless. The second choice makes us feel empowered, in control and grateful. Which one would you rather experience? I prefer the latter.

These two choices exist in every scenario of our lives- whether we are about to get into a fight with our loved ones, failed an exam or did not lose any weight after one week of dieting. It is a choice to respond unconsciously on autopilot or consciously with awareness.

When we ‘resist what is’, we wallow in thoughts of self-pity, self-criticism, resentment, anger, judgment or hopelessness. This is a debilitating choice where we unconsciously play the victim role which makes our experience worse than it needs to be.

‘Surrendering to what is’ empowers us to make choices that can enhance the quality of our experiences.

Surrendering to what is as a Self-Love Habit

My practice last week was to surrender to my reality- my grandfather’s death and physical limitation to travel.

In order to choose impactful ways to show love and support that my dad needed at this time, I made a conscious choice of surrendering to what is. In that practice, I felt compassion towards myself, freed myself of self-judgment and from the craving of wanting my reality to be different. This freedom led me to focus on every possible way I could be of use to my dad.

No matter what your reality is in this moment, practice surrendering and allow self-compassion to arise.

Much love,

Simi

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A morning ritual to cultivate the habit of Self-Love

Simi Pothen — Wed, 25 Apr 2018 13:53:07 +0000

One of the blessings of being human is that we get to experience love. Many of us fall into the habit of looking to others to feel loved and we often overlook the one person that has the capability to love us unconditionally- that’s the person looking back at us in the mirror!

Having loving relationships can be wonderful but if we always depend on others to feel loved, this will lead to disappointments because people don’t always do what we want or make us feel how we want to feel.

At times, we may even start arguing with others hoping they will see how amazing we are, how loveable we are. We all know how well that’s going to work out for us.

Sometimes the constant craving for love and validation from others can fill our days with unproductive meaningless actions that give us temporary pleasures only to wake up the next morning to continue this unconscious habit.

Freeing ourselves from this pattern

In those moments of cravings, disappointments or feelings of inadequacy, what if we decided to take a step back and ask ourselves: How can I love myself in this moment?

It sounds beautiful, but how do we actually apply this or even remember to do this, right?

This is where a morning ritual is vital. As a matter of fact, a morning ritual done mindfully is pertinent to turning the practice of Self-Love into a habit.

It may sound cheesy to some of you, but those who have a mindful morning ritual are more likely to have a loving compassionate attitude towards themselves, their jobs and others. In the past, when I had just started my on again off again mindful morning ritual, I could feel the difference in the way I was acting towards myself and others on the days I did not practice.

We don’t need to spend hours on this, all it takes is 20 minutes. Wake up 20 minutes earlier than you need to, preferably before everyone else wakes up.

The DON’T ritual of the morning

Avoid looking at your phone, checking social media, emails, news or anything that will take your attention away from you for the first 20 minutes after you wake up. It will be tempting at times if this has been your morning ritual, but if we truly wish to make self-love a daily habit, gently remind yourself that you can always check these things after 20 minutes.

Mindful morning ritual to cultivate self-love

Sip your coffee or tea quietly. Notice the taste, the temperature, the smell as you sip your beverage. You will feel resistance to doing this after a couple of sips if this is your first time. Notice this resistance, but don’t judge yourself for the resisting thoughts, gently bring your attention back to sipping the beverage mindfully. Notice how each sip goes down your throat and the sensations in your belly. If we are used to drinking coffee or tea in a rush, this is our first morning practice to slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
Meditate. Meditate anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes. My personal practice includes a 10-minute breath meditation or loving-kindness meditation. If I have more time or wake up earlier, I may meditate longer. If you are new to meditation, this blog post by Leo Babauta is a great place to start. Set a timer for the amount of time you wish to meditate, so that you don’t get preoccupied with your meditation time going over.
Journal. What does your perfect day look like to you? What will you focus on today? What is your affirmation for the day? Journaling is a great way to find clarity on what is meaningful to us. It also helps us sort through the mental clutter and teaches us to verbalize what our beliefs are and what our goals are, thus allowing us to focus our energy on tasks that truly matter to us. Don’t rush this process because we want to be as authentic and honest as possible in this practice.
Gaze into your eyes. Before you start getting ready for the day, look in the mirror, gaze into your eyes and say out loud- “I Love You”. Pause and reflect as you continue gazing into your eyes. Allow all emotions to surface without resistance or judgment. Then say “I Love You” out loud, then pause and reflect again. Repeat this pattern as long as you feel the need to. End the practice saying, “I wish you a wonderful day.”

Even if you cannot incorporate all four of the above practices into your morning ritual, start with one. Then try a different one the next day and slowly build up all four into your morning ritual.

Bring compassion and non-judgment to the practice

If we are a beginner to morning rituals, we may miss a day. Those days, don’t be hard on yourself, remind yourself that you are a beginner in this practice. Find creative solutions to get yourself back on track the next morning- such as finding an accountability partner, joining an online community or journaling the night before.

As you commit to these practices every day, at least one of these will become your habit in the mornings, perhaps even throughout the day. You may choose to sip that beverage during your coffee break at work or when the kids are napping mindfully. You may remind yourself of the affirmation you created throughout the day. You may take a few minutes to meditate during your lunch break. You may choose to look in the mirror during your bathroom break and gaze into your eyes. Once these practices are no longer foreign to us, we will find it easy to implement these anytime, anywhere.

Why a morning ritual is important

Self-love is not something we can think ourselves into feeling. It takes practice. We have to cultivate the habit of loving ourselves unconditionally. Waking up just a little earlier and devoting that time to quietly reflect will add much value to our lives in the short term and long term.

These practices continue to help me find clarity, struggle less, serve egolessly as possible, focus more on what is meaningful to me and less on doing things that will make me feel loved or validated by others. If I notice the craving for love and validation coming up, now with these practices I’m more aware and know that I can choose to not act on that feeling. In those moments, I can choose to focus on the art of loving myself.

…

Much Love,

Simi

Photo credit: Bruce Mars

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Healing and Thriving- Final: Part 3

Simi Pothen — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 12:32:21 +0000

To become a spectator of one’s own life is to escape the suffering of life – Oscar Wilde

———

THE PROBLEM- Living in the Body matrix

We live in a culture where demand for instant fixes is seeping into every aspect of our lives. When it comes to physical illness, we are prescribed medications to fix the symptoms and overlook the cause. Our approach is no different when it comes to dealing with mental struggles in life. We try to fix our inner conflicts by zealously looking for instant escape outside of us and unconsciously getting addicted to that quick fix.

Quick fixes mostly serve as a band-aid; as soon as the band-aid comes off, the struggle is back. In order to permanently release ourselves from unnecessary self-inflicted suffering, finding the root cause is crucial.

The root cause of most of our struggles originates from the wrong understanding of who we are in this world. Until we learn to live from the soul matrix, our thoughts and actions are slaves to the trappings of Self-Pride, Self-Rejection, and Self-Indulgence in the body matrix. Reaching for quick fixes externally to ease struggles will only perpetuate our experiences in the body matrix.

THE SOLUTION – Living in The Soul Matrix

Many of our struggles will cease to exist once we learn to escape life in the Body Matrix- an internal environment that is craving for love and validation, and live in the Soul Matrix- an internal environment that breeds an unconditional love of the self.

The process of escaping body matrix and living from soul matrix isn’t inevitable or automatic. It requires a conscious effort on our part.

With the right intention and consistent practice, the three marks of existence we will develop in the Soul Matrix are:

Self-Knowledge
Self-Acceptance
Self-Discipline

The initial mark of existence experienced in Soul Matrix is Self-Knowledge because through committing to acquiring Self-Knowledge is how we gain Self-Acceptance, and Self-Discipline.

SELF-KNOWLEDGE

Self-knowledge, the first mark of existence in Soul Matrix, is knowledge of our true nature in this world of impermanence. To gain Self-Knowledge, we must engage rigorously in the practice of Self-Study.

Self-study begins with the contemplation of the following questions:

Whom do I believe to be in this world? How did I gain that understanding of myself?

Impermanent nature of our body and Mind

One must be deeply aware of the impermanence of this world – Dogen

One of the vital elements of Self-Knowledge is the understanding of the impermanent world of energy, from which we exist.

Taken from an elementary scientific approach and our own personal observation, we know that things transform when exposed to temperature. For example, water changes from solid to liquid and into gas. Another instance of this impermanence is human life-cycle; which begins with birth, followed by adolescence, adulthood, old age, and finally, death. Science has also shown that there are changes occurring in our body on a cellular level where individual cells are constantly dying and being replaced.

We accept, although at times fail to remember, the impermanence of our external material world because it is visible to our naked eyes. But how about this phenomenon occurring in our internal world- our mind?

Research shows the average person has 60,000 thoughts which come and go in their minds. These thoughts come with assigned labels that we believe define us, conditioned from a young age by our environment- family, friends, peers, teachers, media etc.

This attachment to labels- both what we perceive as positive and negative- are the cause of our struggles in this world.

Freedom from these labels arise from the understanding that similar to our external world, our labels in this world also possess an impermanent nature-

Once labeled a high school senior, in another phase of our lives we are labeled an employee.

Once labeled a fiance, when married the label changes to a spouse and perhaps overtime a widow(er) or a divorcee.

Labeled ‘pretty’ in Europe, the label changes when we visit Asia.

Once labeled a daughter, when parents are deceased does the label of a daughter truly exist in this moment or are we just holding on to the memory of what that label provided us?

Who are we, if our bodies, minds and the roles we play are in continuous movement? We are, simply, who-we-are at any given moment. You are what you say and do in this present moment, not what you said a minute ago or what you’re going to do tomorrow.

When teaching yoga, I am just a yoga instructor. In other moments I could be other things that align with that moment. I can be a blogger, an employee, a lover, a daughter, a mother, a friend and so much more. All of these roles continue to change from moment to moment.

Attaching ourselves permanently to labels as one or the other will keep us trapped in the body matrix. This message I am sharing is not new, it has been shared by many in the past. The understanding of this simple yet profound message is the foundation to living a life of fewer struggles.

Let us not label ourselves as “I’m bad” for the donut we ate or the angry words we said an hour before because that no longer exists in this moment. We simply learn from the experiences of the previous moment and flow into the present moment where we have the ability to make choices. Let us also not attach ourselves to the identity of “I’m good” for the green smoothie we drank earlier or the charity work we performed over the weekend. That person or the act no longer exists in this moment.

Notice how all labels we place upon ourselves arise from a world that is rooted in impermanence and senseless judgment. When we liberate ourselves from these labels, we release ourselves from the need to become the perfect self- we accept ourselves just as we are in each moment experiencing the Power of Now.

Furthermore, the idea of a ‘perfect self’ is just an illusion because the Self cannot be confined to a given location in time or space, for it is in continuous motion.

The interconnectedness of all things

On a broader level with a consistent study and exploration of the Self, we may begin to see and feel the interconnectedness of all things in this world as well. Science now states that we are all created of atomic energy waves and energy can neither be created nor destroyed. We are and will always connect to each other in some form of energy.

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This understanding of our conditioning and awakening to our interconnected state of being is Self-Knowledge. It is through this knowledge, we find Self-Acceptance; the second mark of existence in Soul Matrix.

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Self-Knowledge paves the way to Self-Acceptance in grace.

When we gain true Self-Knowledge, we no longer feel the need to reject, numb or escape any feelings because we are aware of its origin. We are capable of experiencing those feelings with this remarkable sense of acceptance knowing the nature of its impermanence. We are aware of our boundless connection to everything in this world- the oneness.

This innate knowledge of the self, leads to the acceptance of ourselves just as we are.

Self-Acceptance is an all-encompassing affirmation- when we are in acceptance of the self, we are able to embrace all facets of ourselves.

Through the knowledge of the self, Self-Acceptance is simply a state of being- where one begins to experience unconditional love. This experience of Self-Love leads us to Self-Discipline; the third mark of existence in the soul matrix.

SELF-DISCIPLINE

Self-Knowledge and Self-Acceptance results in an ignition of inner peace that spawns a deep compassion and love towards ourselves and others.

The struggles will become less and less intense with the true understanding and acceptance of the Self.

The quick fixes we are conditioned to reach for in order to suppress our feelings- whether it be food, sex, alcohol, romantic love, fame, shopping or anything else outside of ourselves- will slowly subside with this awareness.

We begin to find ourselves disciplined in a way of life where we are no longer running away from the moment that contains all emotions.

This inner discipline leads to a life filled with practices of Self-Love.

LIVING FROM THE SOUL MATRIX

The discovery of the three marks of existence in the Soul Matrix will eliminate many of our struggles and ease our suffering.

If we wish to exist in the Soul Matrix, self-study is most crucial because Self-Acceptance and Self-Discipline are dependent on Self-Knowledge. There are several ‘Self-Study practices’ that we can engage in and one of my personal favorites is Meditation- here is a well explained article on meditation by Leo Babauta

The developments of Self-Knowledge, Self-Acceptance, and Self-Discipline in soul matrix unlocks the power of self-love- the true love that helps us ease our struggles, heal our internal wounds and thrive in this world.

In Soul Matrix, we exist with the awareness that one is not born to bear labels. Instead, we are born to be of service to all that we are connected and must begin with our own self.

Journey to experiencing real love begins when we no longer seek it on the outside

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As Self-Love series comes to an end with this final part, I hope you realize that if you make an effort to engage in Self-Study, you can experience all the marks of unconditional love towards yourself at all times.

Much love,

Simi

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The day I chose Meditation over Medication…

Simi Pothen — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 16:32:58 +0000

What I am sharing in this post is my personal experience. I am in no way qualified to say what is best for another person. I felt the urge to be vulnerable and share because I believe the darkest part of our human experiences are meant to be shared if there was something we learned from it. Life is all about passing these lessons down.

This post is about several months of depression and anxiety I suffered and how I used meditation to overcome it. My goal here is not so much to evoke sympathy or empathy. It’s an attempt to display the Power of Meditation in my life.

“The goal of meditation isn’t to control your thoughts, it’s to stop letting them control you.”

My marriage fell apart and I was devastated. I couldn’t label my feelings and emotions at the time because I had not experienced it prior to this. It was all new to me. I was dealing with it the way I knew how. I kept reading the bible everyday since I grew up Christian but sadly none of it was effective* because I was strongly attached to the identity as a wife, mother and daughter.

Over time my mental state got worse and the world literally started to appear dark to me. For months, I dealt with these overwhelming feelings and emotions all by myself. I didn’t share what I was going through with many family or friends because the feelings of shame and worthlessness were too strong in me. The very few I chose to share it with did not know how to help me.

After several months of suffering in silence, I went to see a doctor and was diagnosed with clinical depression. To the medical experts, I was exhibiting all the symptoms listed in the medical journals, which included suicidal thoughts.

I walked away from the doctor’s office with a prescription for a medicine that will allow me to have less of these negative emotions. I was advised, if I take it, I may still have these troubling thoughts, but the intensity of the emotions will be less.

I decided to speak to someone that was taking this medication and I was told when they were on the pill, they felt distant from everything and everyone. I did not want to feel emotionally distant from my children, but I also knew I had to get better.

As always, Google came to my rescue. I saw an image online that read “meditation over medication.” I was curious and wanted to find out more. I googled again to find a meditation center and I found a Buddhist temple* near me that taught meditation.

I woke up the following Sunday morning, walked into that Buddhist center and the rest is history.

I threw away the prescription after the first meditation class I attended at the Buddhist center. Just after the first class, I had a glimpse of hope. For the first time in many months, I felt light.

I kept going and learned about attachment, my thought patterns, how to stay present, my illusions, self-love, self-compassion and so much more. I developed an understanding of the ‘Self’ and ‘myself’ in this human form.

“Our greatest challenge is related to our purpose.”

My role as a yoga and meditation teacher evolved from these challenges I faced in life. I had been graciously given the tools that have shifted my perspective of the world and everyone in it. I now realize these challenges I faced had nothing to with me, but had to do with those whom I would come across in the future.

It’s cliché to say “I’m glad these things happened in my life because these experiences shaped me into the woman I am today”, yet it couldn’t be any closer to my truth. I am happy to have experienced these challenges because my greatest lesson from it all was CHALLENGES I EXPERIENCE IN THIS LIFE ARE NEVER ABOUT ME!

My hope for my loved ones and everyone who reads this post is that it inspires you to give meditation a chance, preferably before challenges appear. It’s worth the effort and it’s free!

“Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.”

* Reflecting back on the experience, I realize bible is wonderfully written to help those who are feeling hopeless, but at the time it wasn’t effective for me because I did not know “how to read, interpret and meditate on the words”. I am now able to receive more from the biblical passages because learning Meditation gave me the freedom to question, contemplate and reach a conclusion without any external noises.

** http://meditationintampabay.org/

The post The day I chose Meditation over Medication… appeared first on Third Eye Fitness.

Change is the only certainty in life, So this too shall pass….

Simi Pothen — Wed, 24 May 2017 16:26:36 +0000

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, “My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, my legs ache, or I’m constantly falling asleep. It’s just horrible!”

“It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It’s just wonderful!’

“It will pass,” the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

“Thanks to Impermanence, everything is possible.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, let’s enjoy the moment, with the awareness of impermanence, because it won’t last forever! And if things are going bad, let’s not worry, with the awareness of impermanence, because it can’t last forever either!

The reason we suffer is because we experience a gap in our minds between what life is and what we wish life would be.

The only certainty in this life is CHANGE! With an awareness of this truth, we stop longing and clinging to permanence in a world that is impermanent!

The post Change is the only certainty in life, So this too shall pass…. appeared first on Third Eye Fitness.

Meditation Archives - Third Eye Fitness

Love is like a cup of chai..

Recent Blog Posts

Healing a Broken Heart With Self-Love

1) Seek out and find others who are also mending a broken heart.

2) Take on a new hobby

3) Talk to a counselor, life coach or mentor

4) Create a spiritual practice

5) Read inspiring autobiographies of people who overcame challenges

6) It is OK to keep a distance from ‘couple-friendships’ that you have made in the past

7) Be real with your children.

Love and Light,

Simi

Do you practice Self-Love in all areas of your life? Take the self-love quiz to find out!

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Recent Blog Posts

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Self-Love Practice of Ahimsa- Learn to love your body unconditionally with Yoga

Learning to love your body in Yoga

Love and Light,

Simi

Do you practice Self-Love in all areas of your life? Take the self-love quiz to find out!

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Enter Your Name & Email to Get Instant Access To The 5 Principles of Self-Love Here

Recent Blog Posts

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Self-Love Habit of ‘Surrendering to What Is’

Suffering in our perception of reality

Surrendering to what is as a Self-Love Habit

Do you practice Self-Love in all areas of your life? Take the self-love quiz to find out!

Take the Self-Love Quiz

Enter Your Name & Email to Get Instant Access To The 5 Principles of Self-Love Here

Recent Blog Posts

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A morning ritual to cultivate the habit of Self-Love

Freeing ourselves from this pattern

The DON’T ritual of the morning

Mindful morning ritual to cultivate self-love

Bring compassion and non-judgment to the practice

Why a morning ritual is important

Healing and Thriving- Final: Part 3

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THE PROBLEM- Living in the Body matrix

THE SOLUTION – Living in The Soul Matrix

SELF-KNOWLEDGE

Impermanent nature of our body and Mind

The interconnectedness of all things

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

SELF-DISCIPLINE

LIVING FROM THE SOUL MATRIX

Enter Your Name & Email to Get Instant Access To The 5 Principles of Self-Love Here

The day I chose Meditation over Medication…

Change is the only certainty in life, So this too shall pass….