It is not easy to stay calm and emotionally strong when the mind begins to create stories that induce feelings of stress and fear. They feel real. We feel it in our minds and our bodies.
Where do Stress and Fear come from?
It originates in the mind. Feelings of fear and stress cannot exist independently of our thoughts. They are a direct product of our minds dwelling on a future incident that may or may not occur.
Good Fear vs. Bad Fear
There is a place for fear and stress in our lives. Rational fear and positive stress (eustress) can be useful to respond to a situation with an action that will get us out of a dangerous situation. So when do fear and stress become unhealthy? The point where it immobilizes us rather than inspiring us to act. This is where fear becomes irrational and stress becomes distress.
Dealing with Fear
When the mind and body get trapped in those stories, how do we stay calm in those moments?
- Breathe. Take a few deep breaths. This will undoubtedly relax the body and the mind. Without relaxing the mind and body first, we cannot respond to a situation efficiently.
- Look within. Notice the thoughts in your mind that are causing feelings of worry and anxiety. They are there to help you. Rather than resisting the thoughts, acknowledge them. Listen to those thoughts actively to find the root cause of the fear.
- Sit with the Problem. Now that you have found the root cause, assess what part of that problem or situation is under your control. Choose to act on your part.
- Practice detachment. Now that you have acted on your part, it’s time to surrender. At this point, if the mind continues to create stories that induce fear and anxiety, consciously choose to not follow them. Those stories no longer add value in this present moment.
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha
It may seem difficult at first, but with practice, we can get pretty adept at efficiently responding to stress and fear. Look at all the habits we have created in our lives, like brushing our teeth, going for a run, listening to the news, checking facebook, cooking, gardening, going to school/work etc. What we consistently practice creates habits.
In this life, we cannot always control whether things will go our way or not. What we can do is learn to control our own mind and our responses.
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